{"id":5846,"date":"2020-10-02T02:24:00","date_gmt":"2020-10-01T17:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/old2024.onfire.jp\/?p=5846"},"modified":"2020-09-27T14:52:30","modified_gmt":"2020-09-27T05:52:30","slug":"day-32","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/old2024.onfire.jp\/en\/pureheartchallenge\/day-32\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 32"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The \u201cM\u201d word \u2013 It is possible and beneficial to shut the door.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/h1>

As a Christian single, a sexual being, I would sometimes masturbate, while being careful to guard my thoughts against lust. I wasn’t sure how else to live out the life as a single with a sex drive. But then God taught me that it was possible and beneficial to live without this. I decided to close the door on masturbation. It was an easy thing to turn to when the door was open, and an easy thing to avoid when the door is closed. It is pretty fun having no areas that the devil can whisper shame over me in! And honestly, my life has felt so free, full, unhindered since then. I feel like I have tapped into more depths of what God has available for me now. It’s incredible.<\/p>

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Part 1 – Why?<\/h3>

Masturbation with porn (or playing through mental images) is something the Bible speaks clearly regarding. In Matthew 5:27-28: Jesus said, \u201cYou have heard that it was said, \u2018Do not commit adultery.\u2019 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.\u201d<\/em><\/p>

But what about masturbation without lust, i.e. masturbation while \u2018taking every thought captive\u2019 (2 Cor 10:5) Let\u2019s discuss that! Here are my views on masturbation, as a single person. Reasons I don\u2019t want to masturbate:<\/strong><\/p>

  1. It teaches me that sex is self-serving. \u201cGet yours\u201d is an \u2018encouragement\u2019 heard among women, as a response to \u201cGuys have been doing this forever, it\u2019s time for women\u201d. God\u2019s design of sex was not created as something where people would take from each other (unfortunately, this is prevalent now, as the world\u2019s way of sex has strayed far, far, from God\u2019s way). Rather, it was designed that a couple would give<\/em> to one another \u2013 as an expression of their intimacy and love, rejoice in each other\u2019s pleasure, enjoy sex together with no desire to look outside of each other for sex.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/li>
  2. It teaches me that sex is a great escape for pain and negative feelings. If I turn to masturbation in times of loneliness, tiredness, boredom, sadness, stress, etc. it becomes easy to then form an addiction around it. You train your brain to believe that orgasms are an escape for pain and you make a pathway in your brain that tells you, \u2018Whenever you feel pain, quick, there is a remedy for that!\u2019.<\/em><\/li>
  3. I don\u2019t like the emptiness that I feel afterward. God\u2019s design of sex wasn\u2019t intended that the climax would immediately be followed by being alone in bed. Sex was meant to be part of intimacy that was present before <\/em>sex and would also be present after <\/em>sex.<\/li>
  4. It feeds my sex drive. Because I am single, attempting to live following God\u2019s instructions for my life, I want to lull my sex drive to sleep. Lisa Bevere (a Christian author and communicator) speaks about singing back to sleep whatever has been awakened before its time. You know how if you spit a lot, your mouth will begin producing more saliva? The more often you wash your hair, the more oil your scalp will produce? The more you feed your sex drive (through watching sex in the media, fantasizing, and masturbation), the hungrier you will feel. When my sex drive is lulled to sleep, I feel content instead of frustrated!<\/li>
  5. When I have an open door to masturbation, it is easy to turn to that when it\u2019s not necessary. It reinforces the points above, and it doesn\u2019t bring me long-term happiness. I want to close the door on masturbation, for those reasons.<\/li><\/ol>

    And choosing to close the door to masturbation does not mean that you will sit trapped inside a closed room, frustrated and needy. No, when you close the door, and roll over to look to the other side, you see what was there all along – a wide open door – the heart of God. Wide open meadows, diving into the limitless depths of His heart for you, where you WILL FIND all that you need.<\/p>

    Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
    The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
    I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
    I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
    Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
    You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
    Psalm 16:6-11<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n\n

    He brought me out into a broad place;
    he rescued me,
    because he delighted in me.
    Psalm 18:19<\/em><\/p>\n\n

    You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
    but have set my feet in a spacious place.
    Psalm 31:8<\/em><\/p><\/div><\/div>

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    Part 2 – How? <\/h3>

    \u00a0I have been learning some ways to lull my sex drive to sleep:<\/strong><\/p>

    I choose to not watch sex scenes. These can suddenly appear on even a PG television show. I look at the IMDB parent guide, and without reading too carefully (because that in itself can be graphic) I decide if I\u2019m going to watch the movie. In this season where I desire my sex drive to be sleeping, I have a pretty low tolerance of what I can handle without waking stuff up, but I want to keep it that way!<\/p>

    I know my own limit for conversations about sex, sexuality, and even romance. Sexuality is not shameful, and Christians SHOULD be talking about it in a respectful way, but for me, I have a maximum capacity for how much talk I can handle before that cup overflows and wakes stuff up. I shamelessly let people know when that limit is approaching, and excuse myself from the convo.<\/p>

    If stuff is happening, if you\u2019ve already fed a thought, and it\u2019s turning into pretty fired up feelings, but you don\u2019t want to masturbate:<\/strong><\/p>